Bahrija Day. I’ve retreated from the city into the wilderness for the next day and a half. It’s been an active day at Bahrija with visits, new people, shared meals and lots of talk of plans, hopes and dreams for the short and long term future of this place. I’ve spent most of the day doing some kind of work or another between meetings, social media campaign work and writing. I was about to get grumpy at some point during the day until my mind wandered to Maria Popova, the prolific, amazingly productive creator of Brainpickings. What does her day look like? Does she rest? What is her enough? Do we just need to get on with it until we get into the swing of creating? How much discipline is enough?
On that note, I’m finally putting away my laptop to have some time with these beautiful people gathered here.
It’s one of those nights when I feel a little at a loss as to what to do. Which in itself is of course the biggest luxury. I did not quite feel like going out and find myself wondering whether to read, watch a film, make something, or a combination of some / all of those.
My morning today started with yesterday’s diary writing which I did as a kind of short Morning Pages (look it up if this is new to you, highly recommended) followed with yoga and a rushed shower, breakfast and power walk to the Arts Council for my pitch. I enjoyed the presentation, let’s hope the judges also did. Results are out on the 16th so you’ll hear more soon one way or another.
Today on many levels I’ve had enough. I’ve had enough of narcissistic politicians, I’ve had enough of well-meaning ideas that end up just paving the road to hell, I’ve had enough of seeing people I love caught in the endless loop of work > consume > work more to pay for the things missed out on while working > consume more to keep the gnawing feeling inside at bay etc etc etc. I’ve had enough of feeling small and ineffective.
A frank freelancing diary in 100 days
I’ve been freelancing for over three years now and although it regularly drives me crazy, it also really gives me a structure for the freedom to do what I deem necessary, interesting, intriguing. After hesitatingly testing the waters for the first two-odd years, doing the projects that came to me, keeping myself to the things my mind could make sense of work-wise, I feel like I have finally taken the plunge.